Meta Nights

Mr. Exposition's Greeting
And that, as they say, is that.

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Greetings Adventurers!

My name is Mr. Exposition and let me be the first to welcome you to the weird and wonderful place known simply as “The Meta Dungeon.” It is said that this is the place where the legendary hero Chuck MacGuffin hid his amazing treasure! That takes care of the “where” but I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t start you off with the basics, so let’s dive into the other four W’s.

How did you get here? No one knows! Though it is said that those seeking MacGuffin’s treasure always wind up here at some point. No sense worrying about it now that you are!

Who? Seems like a silly question. YOU, of course! You, the players, ARE the characters in this dungeon. Except better because you have cool fantasy races, classes, and skills and such.

What are you seeking? If it wasn’t plainly obvious by now, Chuck’s treasure is the most sought after thing pretty much ever. Sounds like retrieving it will likely result in quite the adventure…

Why? Why do anything, really? But seriously, this treasure could be anything from vast riches to one of those phony-baloney “the journey is the reward” things. No matter how you slice it, if you’re not enticed by the mere idea of glorious treasure and high adventure you should probably roll a new character or find a new hobby… with all due respect of course!

That being said, let’s finish up with some housekeeping items the DM wanted me to list before I turn you loose on this poor, unsuspecting dungeon:

  1. All table talk posted here or spoken at the table (including the DM’s description speech) is considered part of the game that your characters can hear because they are also you. This is the Meta Dungeon, after all.
  2. The whole dungeon is separated into pocket dungeons. These sub-dungeons can be accessed instantaneously from the quest hub.
  3. You can travel freely between dungeons you’ve already visited as long as you’re not in the middle of an encounter via a manner of “fast-travel.” It’s all very science-y, so I won’t bother to explain it all here.
  4. Everyone has a magic coin purse that converts currency placed inside of it up or down as desired. No more carrying around piles of copper coins!
  5. Once you find a place with a merchant you can buy and sell freely from any of the 5th edition handbooks, haggling with Vaclav is unlikely to succeed.
  6. Beware that any attempt to break this forgiving monetary system will likely end up blessed with suck.
  7. Think outside of the box! These other rules notwithstanding, this world and the rules in any official book are your oyster.

That should take care of all the fine print. Looks like you’re on your own until the next time you come across something that needs explaining.

Cheerio!

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You wake up and...
...you're in a room.

Yup. A room. It’s a room with plain, grey brickwork and several torches casting light from the walls. There isn’t a hint of odor in the air, you don’t hear anything besides the crackle of torches, and it feels as though it’s precisely room temperature in here. If any of that changes, you’ll be the first to know, you nosy little perception-spammers. A quick pocket check confirms that all of your hard-earned purchases from character creation remain on your person. Lucky you!

As you stand up you realize that you’re not alone. Everyone sitting around the table with you is here too and, (surprise, surprise) they look and sound exactly like the players do in real life. Except, you know, as dwarves, elves, etc. in armor and robes and stuff. You could stand around introducing yourselves, but that seems like a huge waste of time what with all of these lovely player character pages at your disposal.

Since we’re all already acquainted, let’s get started! You’re in a room… what do you do?

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